My brain is bleeding imagination.
Last night I dreamt that it was the Apocalypse, and my brother was the savior that had to be sacrificed. I shared my last moments with him in joy and pain and fear and love, and we spoke about how we knew it would always come to this.
He accepted his fate, and prepared to go face to face with the last beast of the earth.
I said "fuck this!" and took it upon myself to intervene in the final fate of life.
When the time came for the enormous monster to eradicate the city and the savior that was there to stop it, I came in from stage left and took my spear of destiny and threw it with the willpower, determination and knowledge that it was my time to change reality, and I threw the spear into the spine of the evil creature... right into one of its top three vertebrae. I'm telling you, I can still see this dream -right now- in my mind's eye...

as I said: my dream world is bleeding into my real world right now, and I'm in a daze, trying to figure out what it all means and what I'm supposed to do now...

everything is off balance in my life right now, but it seems like it's all right, at the same time. My girlfriend, my job, my money, my career, my family, my connections, my friends, my business associates... ALL FUCKED UP. Not in a "can't ever repair" sense, but in a "is this for real?" sense, and I'm really at a loss for what to do next. I want to sleep. I want to run away. I want to hide. I want to scream. I want to kill. I want to fuck. I want to kill while I fuck. I want to fucking kill. And, I want to give love.

my head is still a blur. I'm going to take a walk outside. Thank you for being here with me. You are closer to the inside of my inner house now. Please respect the furniture.

my head. she spins with threads of dreams. I'm on another level.

actually, I'm in another dimension...

it's weird here.

Adhimu